The kind of lady who chastises strangers on Metro North for their phone use
The kind of lady who honks the second the light turns green
The kind of lady who clutches her purse when she sees a “suspicious character”
The kind of lady who mutters profanities under her breath while waiting at the checkout line behind a family using their SNAP card
The kind of lady who calls the cops
The kind of lady who accuses you of being on drugs because you nodded off on a bench at Home Depot while waiting for your parents to finish choosing paint at 8am
The kind of lady who wants your pitbull euthanized in order to protect her dickhead jack russell (the one with a pink collar)
The kind of lady who never misses an opportunity to express her disdain for Trump
The kind of lady who drives an Audi
The kind of lady that complains about the wait after five minutes
The kind of lady that really wants you to meet her half-asian niece
The kind of lady who asks about crime when you tell her you used to live in Baltimore
The kind of lady who orders her own dish at a Chinese restaurant and then uses a fork
The kind of lady that sends the food back
The kind of lady who complains about the spice
And the salt
And the lack of vegan options
Before ordering a steak
Well done